If you are reading this page on boundary setting, then you’re likely someone with a big, generous heart who loves to take care of her people.
​Part of being a kind person is being there for others, and sometimes that means going out of your way to lend a hand. But being available for everyone without proper limits can take a big toll on your emotional well-being.
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It’s easy to get caught in the belief that the more you do for others, the better your relationships will be. As a caring and driven woman, you’ve likely extended your ethics of hard work into your personal connections. But you may be spreading yourself too thin.
You’ve started to feel the pangs of emotional burnout...
Imagine enjoying more fulfilling relationships with family, friends, and in your love life. Imagine having a better job or business, and dedicating time to the things you value most- all thanks to the personal boundaries you’ve set.
I’ve worked successfully with many women in helping them identify, set, and enforce the right boundaries for them.
What Are Boundaries?
Boundaries might sound harsh to some, but they’re really just about knowing what feels right for you and taking steps to honor those limits.
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Setting the right boundaries allows you to minimize the things that hinder your well-being and personal growth. Communicating your limits in relationships defines your personal guidelines and protects your emotional wellness.
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Boundaries exist on a spectrum. Some are firm and non-negotiable, while others may be more flexible. Some, like professional boundaries or the limits we set with family members, can be more complex. However, they all serve the same purpose: to maintain healthy, balanced, respectful relationships
You can set healthier boundaries in many different areas of your life. Having limits or parameters on things like the use of your time, money, and how you spend your mental energy, can help reduce stress. It will also guarantee that you prioritize what truly matters to you.
​*For a detailed list and helpful examples of boundary setting, see section below called What are the different types of boundaries?
Personal Boundaries Are Unique to Each Individual.
While there are common boundaries that most people share, not all are obvious, as they can differ from person to person. Factors such as your culture, life history, and stage of life can affect the limits you set.
​Your emotional needs, personality, and stress tolerance can also affect the personal boundaries you require for wellness. For example, an introverted person may have different limits for socializing than an extroverted person. An introverted person would need more personal time. However, both can find their own customized set of boundaries that create harmony in their lives.​​
I offer a personalized approach to therapy tailored to the unique needs of women, their specific goals, and personality.
Why are Boundaries Important?
Establishing limits and guidelines in your life is essential because how you spend your time, energy, and resources should be intentional and not left to chance. Additionally, establishing clear boundaries with others encourages healthier and more meaningful connections.
​Practicing healthy boundaries helps you preserve your autonomy, assert your needs, and honor your values. It can reduce resentment and conflict in your relationships.
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Boundary setting safeguards the core aspects of your life including:
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Health and wellness: physical, emotional, and mental health
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Self-identity: personal values, beliefs, and self-image
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Relationships: family, friends, romantic partners, and social connections
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Career or Purpose: professional aspirations and goals, personal project
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Finances: money management, financial stability, and wealth
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Personal Growth: learning, development, and self-improvement
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Spirituality or Beliefs: spiritual practice choice, or your own sense of purpose
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Leisure and Hobbies: choosing activities you enjoy and having time for relaxation
By being mindful and intentional about the limits you set in your daily life, you create space for the people and activities that matter most to you, allowing you to gracefully curate your life.
A Cautionary Note...
​Being too strict with boundaries or having too many non-negotiables can have negative outcomes. As with many things in life, striking a balance is key.
​​​Therapy can help you discover what setting healthy boundaries looks like for you. Start your boundaries therapy journey HERE.
Boundary Setting for Personal Growth and Development
Personal growth is an ongoing process of self-discovery and self-improvement. It's about enhancing your mindset, skills, relationships, and overall well-being. You recognize and harness your strengths, make informed choices, and take initiative.
Personal development also means facing challenges and stepping out of your comfort zone. You learn from your experiences to become a better version of yourself.
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Boundary setting supports personal growth and development. It encourages you to identify your limits, which gives you a deeper understanding of yourself. This personal insight encourages you to make decisions that align with your authentic self. You also build confidence and self-esteem as you learn to assert your needs. All of these things support your emotional health.
Learn more about what it's like to work with me on my homepage.
What is Boundaries Therapy?
Boundaries therapy helps you see your personal limits. This applies to you as an individual and in relationships. You will learn to communicate your boundaries clearly, with empathy, and confidence.​​ Therapy for boundaries also helps you understand why you make certain choices. It offers a safe space to explore your motives. ​Having the right resources and support can go a long way in helping you make the changes you want to make.​​​​
If you’re grappling with the idea of setting boundaries in your life or relationships, you’re in the right place! ​​
Boundaries Therapy Can Help You:
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Determine which areas in your life will benefit from boundary setting.
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Identify your needs and limits.
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Feel confident in protecting your personal boundaries.
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Discover what you value in your connections with others.
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Learn assertive communication skills.
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Manage any emotional discomfort you may feel around establishing limits.
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Recognize and defend yourself against gaslighting.
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Guide you in identifying and managing your non-negotiable boundaries
The question we aim to answer in therapy is:
How can you take care of yourself while also maintaining strong connections, thriving at work, and reaching your personal goals?
Start online boundaries therapy near Brooklyn, NY
What Are the Different Types of Boundaries?
Boundaries come in many forms, and each type plays a unique role in shaping our interactions and maintaining balance in our lives. Recognizing the various types of boundaries equips you with the tools to manage your relationships and your life more effectively. Below is a list of different personal boundaries you can set, each essential for helping you shape your life with a little more intention and ease.
Seven Types of Boundaries
1. Boundaries for Relationships
You can set boundaries in all types of relationships. This includes family, friends, partners, and professional connections. For the romantic relationships and dating therapy page, click here.
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Boundary setting in relationships means identifying and communicating your needs and limits. This helps you protect yourself while maintaining close connections with others.
Setting boundaries for relationships promotes better communication and reduces conflict. It encourages authentic self-expression and individuality.
Each type of relationship will have their own set of limits. For example, your financial boundaries may differ between family and acquaintances. Even the emotional boundaries you set will vary depending on the relationship type.
For more details and examples see How to Set Personal Boundaries in Relationships and Examples of boundaries in a relationship at the end of this page.
Now let's address the BIG ELEPHANT in the room:
GUILT: a healthy emotional response.
The healthy limits you establish in your interactions with others are not a form of neglect or abandonment. Instead, they help to establish mutual respect and trust, and promote healthier bonds with those you care about.
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Since women are likely feel pressure to always be accommodating and selfless, there's often a fear of disappointing others or being seen as selfish when setting boundaries. Therefore, they often have internalized guilt when prioritizing their own needs.
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Guilt, when experienced in moderation, can actually be a healthy thing. It signals that you care about your actions and their impact on others. Guilt indicates that you have a conscience.
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Guilt becomes problematic only when it feels overwhelming or causes you to make self-sabotaging decisions repeatedly.
Boundaries therapy can teach you how to manage feelings of guilt in a healthy way. Let's chat!
2. Professional Boundaries
Boundary setting at work can greatly improve your daily experience, whether you're an employee or a business owner.
Professional Boundaries Guide:
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Work-life balance: Have clear limits on your availability and time. This helps you make space for your personal life and self-care.
Example: Setting a comfortable limit on how many times you stay late at work, or not working at all on your days off so that you don’t sacrifice self-care.
Productivity: remove distractions, schedule breaks, and create a workspace that helps you concentrate. Eliminating the things that interrupt workflow boosts your productivity. It also improves the quality of your work hours.
Professional relationships: It is important to communicate your expectations, preferences, and non-negotiables with the people you work with. This will reduce misunderstandings and create a more efficient work environment.
Developing assertive communication skills helps you express yourself with clarity and politeness. This makes it a powerful tool for managing boundaries at work.​
​Challenges women face when setting professional boundaries:​
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Fear of being perceived as difficult
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Balancing assertiveness and likability
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Overcoming societal expectations
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Gender bias and stereotypes
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Fear of confrontation
Women business owners or executives often struggle to establish authority. This can make it tough to set and enforce professional boundaries. Women face societal conditioning that encourages them to be nurturing, which makes boundary-setting harder as they often feel uneasy about saying 'no'.​
​If you want to start feeling comfortable in setting and enforcing healthy boundaries at work and in your personal life, click on the button to get started.
3. Emotional Boundaries
The limits you set for yourself and with others to protect your emotional well-being are called emotional boundaries. In reality, setting any kind of boundary is done to protect your well-being, with emotional health being a key factor.
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Setting emotional boundaries requires you to be mindful of YOU and not just of what “needs” to get done or what others are expecting of you. It encourages you to notice your feelings and to trust yourself when your mind or body is hinting that you need a break, rest, or distance from a situation.
Examples of Emotional Boundaries
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​Knowing when and how to decline requests that drain your emotional energy.
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Being mindful and taking breaks from stressful or overwhelming situations or conversations.
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Not taking responsibility for or absorbing other people’s emotions.
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Learning to combat negative thinking and self-doubt.
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Recognizing that setting limits is a form of self-respect.
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Honoring your needs allows you to be more present for others.
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Trusting that others can handle things when you’re not available.
It can be challenging for empathetic and responsible women to set and maintain healthy emotional boundaries. It's essential to balance fulfilling your responsibilities and showing care while also taking time to check in with yourself and recognize your own needs.
4. Time Boundaries
What do your daily activities look like? When you take a vacation, are you truly relaxing, or are you constantly checking in with work? Or, on the flip side, are you not dedicating the time and effort to your work that you committed to?
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Time boundaries involve managing how you allocate your time to ensure it aligns with your values and priorities. It also helps prevent burnout. Setting time boundaries is essential for a balanced life. This includes things like managing work hours, reducing social media use, and making time for rest.
It’s important to examine how you are spending your time so that you can be more intentional about focusing on what matters most. Your habits could be robbing you of inner peace, better relationships, valuable time, career advancement, personal growth and development, or even your physical health.
Time boundaries are not just about removing the things that do not serve you. They are also about creating space for the things that energize you and bring fulfillment and meaning to your life.
You are what you repeatedly do -Aristotle
As always, the time limits you set will be specific to your personality and needs. For example, if you usually spend too much time on work, try setting time limits for it so that you can have more personal time.
Examples of Time Boundaries
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​Blocking out personal time for self-care, special projects, or recharging mental energy.
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Prioritizing sleep: setting a time (with an alarm if you are forgetful) for unwinding and getting to bed.
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Making time for meaningful connections with family, friends, and your partner.
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Recognizing the right time and way to leave a meeting or gathering that feels draining or has gone on longer than necessary.
Many women struggle with setting time boundaries. It's difficult for us to recognize if we agree to do things for others out of a sense of obligation or simply to avoid being seen as unkind.
​Since ambitious and responsible women are so capable, it’s so easy to just try and do it all. We do the chores, work, run errands, and overcommit at work and socially. This leaves us with little time to rest. We set ourselves up for burnout. Then we over-apologize when we snap or fall short. But you CAN step out of this hamster wheel.
If any of this resonates, then you may benefit from boundaries therapy.
5. Physical Boundaries
Definition: the personal space and physical limits that you set to protect your body, personal belongings, and comfort. These boundaries involve deciding who can be in your space, how close others can get to you, and what types of physical contact are acceptable.
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Physical boundaries help you maintain a sense of security, autonomy, and respect for your personal well-being. These limits will vary from person to person based on cultural, personal, and social factors. They are key to supporting healthy relationships and protecting one's privacy.
Examples of Physical Boundaries for Relationships:
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​Let others know when they cross a physical boundary. This includes things like inappropriate touching or not respecting your belongings.
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Set clear sexual or intimate boundaries: determining consent and express personal limits around sexual activities.
Having non-negotiable physical boundaries is important, as these will support physical safety by helping to deter unwanted or harmful experiences.
6. Financial Boundaries
Financial boundaries are the limits you set around money, spending, and financial responsibilities. These guidelines help you decide how you share money with others and how much debt is acceptable for you. Plus, they ensure that your spending matches your values and goals.​
​Having limits around how you use your money is about protecting your financial health and independence.
Examples of Financial Boundaries
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Declining financial requests or expectations that could strain your financial health
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Having a budget and setting aside money for the things you value
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Maintaining clear expectations about money in relationships, such as deciding how to split expenses with your partner, or setting limits on lending money to family and friends
Healthy financial boundaries are essential. They help reduce stress, prevent financial strain, and help you achieve long-term stability.
7. Mental Boundaries
Definition: The limits you set for your thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and how you engage with the mental energy of others.
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Your thoughts have a profound effect on your mental state. What you think about on a regular basis has a big influence on everything from your interactions with others to the goals you set for yourself and whether you achieve them. Your thoughts shape life as YOU experience it.
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Setting mental boundaries requires you to pay attention to your thoughts. This helps you to be an active participant in choosing which thoughts become a part of your belief system. With some self-awareness and mindfulness, you can reshape your thought patterns. Doing so can lead to a significant improvement in your outlook on life.
Don’t believe everything you think. -R.F.
How to Identify and Challenge Negative Thoughts:
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​Notice the thought.
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Question the accuracy of the thought.
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Find alternative perspectives.
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Replace the thought with a more neutral or positive one.
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Practice self-compassion. What would you say to your ten-year-old self if she had the same thought?
The thought replacement technique above is part of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) an approach I rely on to help my clients.
Having healthy mental boundaries also asks that you be a gate keeper when interacting with others.
You can evaluate other people’s opinions while keeping an open mind and staying true to your own values and experiences.
​When receiving information from others, take a moment to reflect on their beliefs, opinions, and attitudes rather than absorbing them automatically.
You also have the right to establish boundaries when someone is passing judgment on you.
​Example: When someone frequently offers you unsolicited advice, you can gently communicate your boundaries. You can say something such as, “I respect your perspective, but I’m feeling confident in the direction I’m heading right now.”
I’ve helped countless women cultivate a state of mind that makes setting boundaries a natural and healthy part of their everyday lives
Start your boundaries therapy journey here today.
How to Set Personal Boundaries in Relationships
Setting boundaries is key to having meaningful relationships.
It requires self-awareness, clear communication, and consistent practice. By honoring both your own needs and those of others, you build stronger, more balanced connections.
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Boundaries in relationships applies to all of your connections including family, friends, coworkers, and partners.
Seven Steps for Setting Boundaries in Relationships
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Identify your personal needs and limits: What are the things and situations that make you feel drained or uncomfortable? How much personal time do you need to recharge your mental energy?
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Communicate with clarity and respect: Be direct and considerate of the other person. Use “I” when speaking about your needs (e.g., “I need time alone to rest and recharge”).
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Be politely assertive: Be considerate yet firm when you reassert your boundaries.
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Be consistent: reinforce your boundaries as needed.
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Reevaluate Boundaries: Regularly assess whether your boundaries need adjusting.
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Respect other people’s limits and needs: pay attention to and respect others’ boundaries.
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Seek support if needed: Talk to a trusted friend or mentor. Don’t be afraid to seek professional help if boundary-setting feels overwhelming.
Setting limits with loved ones can feel tough for women. Yet, these are often the relationships where boundaries matter the most. Therapy can help you mitigate feelings of guilt and anxiety, allowing you to establish healthier dynamics in your relationships.
Therapy can help you mitigate feelings of guilt and anxiety, allowing you to establish healthier dynamics in your relationships.
Examples of Boundaries in a Relationship
Setting good boundaries for relationships will differ for the various types of connections you have.
Respecting boundaries includes things such as honoring physical space, returning borrowed money, and respecting private information.
Below is a list of examples of phrases you can use to help set and reinforce boundaries with others:
1. Privacy: When someone shares personal information with others without your consent:
“I’d prefer that my personal matters stay between us unless I choose to share them with others. Please respect my privacy and ask me before discussing things I’ve shared with you in confidence.
2. Money: When someone keeps asking you for money and you are no longer comfortable with it:
"I’ve helped you in the past, but I’m no longer able to lend money. I care about you and want to support you in other ways, but I need to set this limit for my own financial well-being."
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3. Time & Mental Energy: When someone wants to speak but you are mentally exhausted, "I need time alone to recharge after a long day, so I can’t engage in long conversations right when I get home."
People may push to get their way because they haven't yet learned to respect boundaries, and that’s okay! When you speak from the heart, show empathy, and combine that with assertive communication skills, it becomes easier to know how to respond in these situations.
Assertive Communication Skills
How we communicate with others has a powerful and lasting impact in our relationships.​
​​Having good assertive communication skills is all about expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in a clear, respectful way, without being passive or aggressive. It’s like finding that sweet spot where you can speak up for yourself while also being mindful of others. Practicing assertive communication can help you feel more confident and empowered.
It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. -A.M.
Women who struggle with boundary setting often find it hard to talk about their needs or limits. Through therapy, you can develop or enhance your assertive communication skills.
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I have helped countless women improve their self-expression. Many of these women have overcome the tendency to freeze or shut down during difficult conversations.​Others, who once avoided such conversations and endured in silence, have found their voice and a healthier way to connect with others.
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Take the first step toward healthier relationships and feel more in control of your life.
Contact me today to discover how setting personal boundaries can enhance the quality of your life.
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Norbelina Muzo's Credentials
Licensed Mental Health Counselor: New York State #006636
Master of Arts: Teachers College, Columbia University
Educational Masters: Teachers College, Columbia University